Finding the Philosopher’s stone.

I’ve been trying to find the answer to the question “how to become who I really am” for some years.

It started with the discovery of Shadow. I had no idea such a concept exists. Repressed parts of my personality, that control my decisions when I am not looking? The inferior character inside me, that makes weak decisions and is hateful, anxious and resentful.

I started studying Jungian psychology to discover how to integrate that part of myself. I stumbled upon the teachings of Carl G. Jung, Marie-Louise Von Franz, Jordan Peterson, James Hillman, Friedrich Nietzsche, Lao Tzu, Joseph Campbell, Viktor Frankl and most important of all — primordial mythology.

Thanks to Jung I’ve went deep into the rabbit hole of finding myself. I began studying my unconscious. I started living a clean life, noticing my impulses and resentments. I started journaling consistently and correlating my discoveries.

Then I started noticing the little synchronicities occuring in my life. Those “random” events that were not random at all, but it was my unconscious trying to send me a message.

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — Carl G. Jung

Then I discovered the concept of Anima. The female part of male psyché.

But you cannot start working with your Anima before you’ve integrated your Shadow. That is the first step.